On New Year's Eve, Evan and I drove up to Baltimore for the fireworks at the Harbor. Having lost 70 pounds in the past year, I dressed at my slinkiest & sleaziest - major cleavage, mini-skirt, and enormously high heels. We split up and I walked to the harbor. At midnight I managed to kiss about 15 guys. One fellow became extremely intriguing, but by the time I noticed just how blue his eyes were, I couldn't give him my phone number. I would have had to drop the Scottish brogue, told him I wasn't from Edinburgh, and that I didn't know leprechauns personally (which wasn't really a lie). For me, flirting has always been acting. Evan and I finally met up. He'd been riding the merry-go-round. We walked to the car. No keys. I mean, N O K E Y S! We wandered all the back, trying to retrace our steps. We passed one of my kissers, who had lost a glove, and who surmised that the big vehicles sucking the trash off of the dock & streets had gotten them. Oy! We found the police who drove us back to the parking place. I swear, I remember getting out of the car, sans pockets in my sleazy outfit, and calling after Evan to take my keys. I believe I remember putting them in my purse, zipping it up, and keeping my hand on the tassle where the zipper is, as I always do. The cops shone lights all around, found nothing, and bid us good luck and left. We walked all over Baltimore, hitchhiking, stopping strangers to beg them to be good samaratins (I had about $15.00 in my pocket). I began to dispise my sleazy outfit and the high heels - It was cold! We finally came upon a gentleman who said he'd walk us to the Greyhound station. We passed a drunken black gentleman who was accompanied by a white goth chick and her white half-preppie, half-goth boyfriend. I begged them the boon. It turned out they lived in Columbia, which is right next to Laurel. Bernard, the drunk gentleman said, "It's my car. I'll give you a ride if you give me cigarettes!" I said, "I sincerely hope you are not the designated driver!" He wasn't. Russel was. Evan, Bernard and I piled into the back seat. We were quite yucking it up, and at one point, Evan asked Bernard to be his new Daddy and Bernard said he would. Then Bernard dropped the cigarette. He made Evan switch places with him so he was in between us. Evan stomped out the cigarette. Bernard tried to cop a few feels, and passed out on me. Russel and Miriam and I chatted. I discovered that Bernard goes to my college! When they dropped us off, none of us could find a working pen to exchange numbers. I had Miriam kiss Evan, as he hadn't been kissed yet. I must try to find Bernard at school, although I suspect he won't remember a thing.
The next day, I frantically called everyone I knew, to no avail. I called the police, and the keys hadn't been turned in. They said they wouldn't tow the car on New Year's Day, but they would the next day. I called locksmiths, who apparently find New Year's Day their boom day - the day to charge the most outrageous prices. The driver's side door never locks. I can get in. I needed an ignition key. Finally, my sister-friend Sydral told me she'd drive me to my fathers for money and back to Baltimore. Dig this: a week before, my father had been looking for some pictures, and found a set of keys. He thought of throwing them away, but something told him not to. The car keys were among them. They were on a "Gemini" key chain. That's my late mother's sign. Syd & I went to Baltimore and the car started right up! Astonishing!
I entered Baltimore a pagan: "Mabel, Mabel, full of grace: help us find a parking space." Left a Catholic: "St. Anthony, help me find my keys. Please, St. Anthony help me find my keys!" I've come to the spiritual belief that it was all preordained: my father found the cars and something told him to keep them. I lost my keys. The right keys came from my mother. I've been through it before, but it always blows me away. When the veil parts, and grace is recognizably bestowed - well, it's totally cool! It's going to be a fantastic year
New Years Eve 2004
Posted on January 8, 2004 by Kelisha
