Synopis In the classical manner, we are welcomed by a "chorus" consisting of "Prologus," and three actors called Proteans, who will play a variety of roles. Prlologus proclaims a (Comedy Tonight), as cast members surround him with assorted comic business, and the scene is set: A street in Rome, with three houses: the first belongs to Erronius, "a befuddled old man abroad now in search of his children, stolen in infancy by pirates": the second to Lycus, "a buyer and seller of the flesh of beautiful women": and the last to Senex, who along with his wife, son and principal slaves will carry most of the action.Senex and his wife Domina are about to depart on a trip to visit her mother, leaving their handsome son Hero in the care of the house's chief slave, Hysterium. Hysterium is charged with keeping Hero away from girls, but the moment Hero is left alone, we see that he has little else on his mind (Love I Hear).
Hero's soliloquy is interrupted by Pseudolus(Prologus), another of the family's slaves, who is not only a conniver of the firstorder, but has the effrontery to act like a free man. Hero imagines himslelf in love with a courtesan whom he has glipmsed in Lycus's window: Pseudolus offers to get her if only Hero will make him (Free).
Now Lycus comes out of his house, and Pseudolus, with Hero's money, tries to buy the girl--a virgin recently arrived from Crete--but finds that she has already been sold: "the great captain, Miles Gloriosus" will be arriving to claim her this very day.
Psuedolus doesn't give up: he convinces the gullible Lycus that plague has broken out in Crete, and that the only way to keep the girl from infecting the entire house is to let her stay at Senex's until Miles shows up. Hero and Philia thus finally meet, and while neither of them is especially bright they can both perceive that she is (Lovely).
Hysterium returns, catches the young couple together, but his threats in loco parentis fall apart when Pseudolus threatens to tell Senex that Hysterium keeps "Rome's most extensive and diversified collection of erotic pottery." Pseudolus instead arranges for Hero and Philia to elope, to take ship at once and leave Rome forever (Pretty Little Picture). But Philia won't break her courtesan's contract: she will stay with Hero in Senex's house, but only until her captain arrives: Pseudolus says he will announce his arrival by knocking Three times.
Pseudolus's next idea is to give Philia a sleeping potion, so her purchaser will think she is dead of plague; just as he goes off in search of the ingredients--including "Mare's sweat--Senex unexpectedly returns. When, looking for his servants he knocks three times at his own door, Philia answers, presumes Senex is her "Captain," and she throws herself at him the old man believes he had found heaven. Pseudolus returns, discovers the mistake and quickly concocts a story that Philia is a new servant. Senex, naturally, is delighted, agreeing with Pseudolus and Hysterium that (Everybody Ought To Have A Maid).
To keep his son ignorant of this adultery-in-the-making, Senex wants to take Philia next door, to Erronius's empty house. Pseudolus, still thinking fast, sprinkles the mare's sweat on the old man, and persuades Senex that first he must bathe. Senex goes off to do so, in Erronius's house, leaving Pseudolus still scheming and Hysterium on the edge of panic (I'm Calm).
Erronius chooses this moment--wouldn't you know it?--to return, still childless, from his long wanderings. Almost blind and none to quick, he is dissuaded from entering his own house by the sound of Senex's singing, which is so bad that Erronius takes it for a ghost. Pseudolus, who doesn't need this latest complication, wins Erronius's confidence by posing as a soothsayer, and convinces him that the only cure for houseghosts is to walk"seven times around the seven hills of Rome" As he goes, Eronius mentions that his two lost children and he himself wore identical rings engraved with "a gaggle of geese." Erronius then forgets his own geese-ring and Pseudolus puts it on.
Senex now reappears from Erronius's house, looking for Hysterium to prepare his bath. He instead encounters his son, who is wondering why his father has returned so soon when they are both distracted by Philia, who briefly appears on Senex's balcony. Each sees the look the other gives her, each wonders, "why did he look at her that way?", and each concludes, (Impossible).
With father and son sent off in opposite directions, Pseudolus is next accosted by Lycus, who wants to know how his "plague-victim" is faring. As Pseudolus tells him their only hope is the potion he is preparing, a soldier arrives announcing the imminent arrival of Miles Gloriosus, Hysterium goes off to give the potion to Philia, and Pseudolus persuades Lycus to bring out the rest of his courtesans and greet the great captain.
Miles himself finally makes a suitably grand entrance, and he puts aside his self-adoration just long enough to demand that Pseudolus (Bring Me My Bride). But Philia, it seems, has refused the potion--her religion on Crete doesn't permit drinking--and Pseudolus, in desperation, tells the captain that his virgin has run off. Miles is furious, threatening to tear down the and put Pseudolus--whom he thinks is Lycus to death. Pseudolus asks, "may I be allowed a word?" Miles replies, "it had better be a good one." And it is: "intermission!"
Act 2 begins-- after the audience receives a welcome recap of the story so far--Miles is about to execute Pseudolus, but the clever slave is again able to talk himself (temporarily) out of trouble: Miles gives him one hour to find his "missing" bride. As Pseudolus goes off with Miles's soldiers, he tells Hysterium to hide the girl on the roof of Senex's house.
As Senex, bathed, waits in Erronius's house for his tryst with Philia, his wife Domina, suddenly returns, having had (as she tells Hysterium) an intuition about what (That Dirty Old Man) is doing. She instead finds Miles Gloriosus, who mistakes her for another of the courtesans. With entrances and exits now multiplying, Hero returns for Philia, but finds she has refused the potion and still awaits her captain. Philia tries to console Hero by telling him that she'll think of him while she's making love to Miles (That'll Show Him). Hero is less than delighted.
With Philia unwilling to help, Pseudolus is thrown back on one last bit of deception: Hysterium will dress as a woman and play dead for Miles's benefit. Hysterium is reluctant, but his desperation--and Pseudolus's persuasive powers--finally persuade him that he, too is (Lovely reprise). To set off his drag ensemble, Pseudolus gives Hysterium the ring from Erronius.
Miles returns and receives the bad news. Momentarily heartbroken, he insists on a formal funeral for his dead bride (Funeral Sequence), The deception works perfectly--Miles is no genius, either--until he insists on a farewell kiss, at which Hysterium recoils, jumps up and runs off.
The chase scene that follows defies detailed description; it ends with Pseudolus and Hysterium caught, Miles enraged, and all the other participants gathered around. Errounius sees his missing ring, and we discover that the other two belong to Miles and Philia. Revealed as brother and sister, they of course can't marry, and because Philia is also revealed to have been free-born, she is now free to marry Hero instead. As everyone celebrates (Finale), Pseudolus, at last, is just plain free.
Copyright © Angel Records
