I thought environmentalist wackos LIKED wolves!!!

Rooting for the wolves: Watching The Day After Tomorrow Once again, Hollywood has descended into vicious stereotypes of wolves in the new environmentalist disaster flick, The Day After Tomorrow. Forget about Bush and Cheney being made to look stupid and evil respectively. Forget about New York being destroyed yet again, all you theatre lovers. Forget about burning books (!!!) to stay alive. Noooooo, what we have here is blatant speciesism! Four wolves, who are smart enough to escape from the Central Park Zoo just before all hell breaks loose, turn up again near the end of the movie to try to eat the movie's "heroes."

"Mmmmmm! Stupid teenagers on the hoof!" By then, Yr. Most Humble and Wolfish reviewer was rooting for the wolves. I mean, if these clowns are about to inherit the earth, they deserve to be eaten! Yes, wolves -- lovable, cuddly, noble, free wolves -- have been made into the bad guys in this new "environmentally correct" movie! Does this mean that in the world of the future, cleansed of evil conservatives and that blowhard Rush Limbaugh, there will be no room for wolves?!?

Unfortunately, the wolves are wiped out, smacked bloody, and left to freeze when the giant bathtub drain of the storm sucks down the freezing air from the upper atmosphere. Sure, it's okay to hate wolves if you're an environmentalist wacko (just like it's okay to make racist comments about Condi Rice on Airhead America if you hate Dubya). Especially kinda tacky, digitally generated wolves. I mean, if you're gonna turn wolves into second class citizens ("Back of the zoo for you, canine!" ), at least hire some of us to do the portrayals some justice!

Oh sure, the special effects are great, but special effects are nothing if you have wooden characters and a silly script. And of course, there's the rabid wolf prejudice on display in the final sequence of the film! I feel victimized!

"Anyone know a good lawyer I can hire? I'm gonna sue!!!"

Yes, it's basically the cinematic equivalent of having Al Gore yell at you for two hours. "It's BUSH'S fault that there are WOLVES roaming the streets of NEW YORK! He BETRAYED this country!!!"

Of course, the rampant wolf hatred portrayed in The Day After Tomorrow (when doubtless there will be no wolves left!) is leading to things like this:

After seeing The Day After Tomorrow, young Spanky Lobonuts decided to take matters into his own hands and stop the takeover of the world by wolves.

On a more serious note -- this is the first movie that Yr. Most Humble and Obdnt. Wolfie has seen that shows Manhattan with a certain scar in its skyline. This movie, by insulting the man who has done more to avenge what was done that day two and a half years ago, descends to a level of stupidity and asininity that surprises even a pop-culture pessimist like me.

" Pop culture is filth. " -- John Derbyshire

Of course, Yr. Most Humble and Butt-sore Wolfie was pleased to hear these comments from his fellow filmgoers after the movie:

"That sucked!"
"Some of that dialog was just stupid."
"Man, I wanna go home and kill some wolves!!!"

Um...maybe not that last quote...

Anyway, I must go soak my despondence and depression over this latest round of Hollywood wolf hatred in several Manhattans. (Appropriately enough, don't you think?) But I would like to end with one, final question...

Thirty years ago, they warned about a new ice age. Then it became convenient to warn about global warming. Now we're back to a new ice age.

Will you environmentalist wackos decide just how the friggin' world is gonna come to an end?!?

And please, can we do it without the wolf hatred? I mean, my God, the NRA is all hoopy-happy about wolves being taken off the endangered species list and you sound like y'all wanna join 'em! Sheesh!

Manhattans away!
^..^
> Mr. Wolf

At least the NRA admits they like shooting animals. But since wolves like tearing up animals themselves, that's okay. Ya gotta stick with your fellow flesh-eaters!

Full disclosure: Mr. Wolf is a proud dittohead, registered Republican, team leader for the Bush re-election campaign, and a member of the NRA.